#2.

Yes, I've managed to make myself post again. I am determined to not make this into another three-page filled notebook (i know... i have 1 more post before i get to that point). I think what makes it so hard for me to post is the fact that i feel like i NEED to write something "interesting". You know, the type of "interesting" that when people read it touches them, changes them, moves them (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and bowel-ly). Then i remember, "wait a minute... no one's reading this bullshit anyways, so who cares?". Then it all becomes a little easier.

So, i am beginning a new chapter in my life (wow, that sounds soooo fuckin' cliche). I have a beautiful fiancee that i get to hold dear and true for the rest of life (sept. 9 we etch it into the world), we've moved from Lansing, MI to Palatine, IL, and I've started a new job. There's alot i can talk about, but right now i am in a ranting mood, so you will hear me rant (beware, this is long...)

Fucking local movers.

What was supposed to be an easy KY-Jelly glide from Lansing, MI to Palatine, IL, turned out to be the most complicated differential equation you could ever imagine. First of all, it starts off with our scheduled move date (scheduled 2-3 weeks in advance) on June 19th to be cancelled because the movers want Father's Day off. Totally understandable (in fact i even forgot about it when i picked the day). I'd want that day off too. So, instead of informing me this quite essential information when i call them to schedule the date, they decide to wait THREE days (June 16th) before we are scheduled to move to tell us they can't move us on the 19th.

Talk about getting a slice of the dick pie. So being the non-confrontational person that i am, i immediately try looking for solutions. Now, we were told (and i have voicemail stating this) that we could be loaded up and moved all on the SAME day so we figured the 18th would be good (that way i don't have to miss work). Ha! I'll take another slice please.

Twenty ulcers later, we finally get our stuff from Lansing to Palatine. But wait... it doesn't stop there. We were given an estimate through filling out this spreadsheet they provided us and were told that they would weigh the truck to get the exact weight. Now this spreadsheet looked like a good idea and all, except it couldn't estimate shit. Using their weight estimation formula, we apparently own 4 dining room chairs that weigh a total of 140 lbs! Oh, let's not forget the frail bookcase, that is estimated to weigh 140 lbs that even my grandmother can lift, amongst the myriad of other over estimated items.

After the movers unload, we ask them how much we owe them and how much the truck weighed.

"Just write us a check for the estimate, because we have to re-weigh the truck again on the way back. The office will contact you if you owe more money or if you get money back."

I hestitantly write the pie baker a check for the estimated amount. Now, my dad has taught me a valuable lesson in life. Never pay someone for something until it is 100% done. Once people get the money, they don't care what kind of job they do. How true this is. I can already start to smell the faint scent of another slice.

We try to contact the movers later that week to get the final weigh in numbers but no one is returning our messages or answering the phone. We finally get in touch with someone who will only allow us to refer to him as "E" on Friday. He tells us the driver is missing (with our check) and that they can't find him. "E" tells us he needs to talk with the manager and that he would get back with us on Saturday. We tell him that we are going to put a stop payment on the check if we don't hear from him by Saturday and of course we don't. At this point, I am starting to get full of pie and don't know if I can take another slice.

Fast forward >>> 2 weeks later (3 weeks after we have moved). I get a call from the manager saying that my check got returned. Well, no shit! You should of talked to your employee "E", listened to the messages we left you, or read your e-mail. It seems like he had the check all along. We told him about the situation and told him we have the full intention of paying him, once we get the weight figures. Please... no more pie...no more...

Yup, the weight slips are missing and that is where we stand today. We have full intention on paying them, but the question is how much? Yeah, this turned out to be more of a pain than actually doing the research to figure out and build my own molecular transportor, get the patent, bake some real delicious apple pie, and transport all our items to our residence.

Now, the movers themselves were pimptastic. Nice, funny, laid-back, and very helpful. Even the office people were very nice, but their communcation needs work. Not only to each other, but to their customers as well... If anything good came out of this it's this, the creation of a new word (cover your eyes kids!): son-of-a-mother-fucking-dick-pie-eating-bitch.

I promise this will be my longest post ever. Keep your eye out for the Lifetime movie I am turning this into.
I'm off to finish digesting that dick-pie i've been fed, only to hope that i don't throw it all back up.