concert musings

last week, perry ferrell's circus extravenganza of bands showed up in chicago for three full days of sore legs, music, and sweat... at least this year it wasn't 100+ degrees, and we didn't have anyone we were in dire straits (yes, i spelled it like the band) to see (as we were last year with the killers, when we waited hours on hours end in sweltering death valley temps), we were able to take it easy on cramming in front of 60-70,000 plus people... although, cramming last year did get both j and i in the lollapalooza tv spot commercial for this year (i have a video of the commercial, that'll i'll post eventually)...

i have to say that the flaming lips left the biggest impression on me... we had left the smoking popes stage about 30 min early, in order to try to meander into a good spot for the lips... unfortunately for us, everyone else had setup camp about an hour or more earlier than we arrived... eventually hazen and i were able to skimmy and weave our way somewhat into the crowd and got a little closer... the show was extravagant... wayne had santa clauses (yes plural), aliens, giant robots, streamers, confetti, balloons, and who knows what else that i couldn't see... he started the show off coming out in his "human" bubble, and rolling around in the crowd, then returning to his command post and ordering the releasing of 25-50 giant blue balloons, with intermingled blow up dolphins, lemons, and anything else in the mix... simply beautiful, in the flaming lips, "odd" way...

other highlights for me were:

• Panic! covering Tonight, Tonight
• Chicken on a stick at Lee's Concessions
• Rawkin' (or not so much) Guitar Hero 2 with Hazen
• coheed & cambria and ween shredding
• the go! team
• kanye and TWISTA! (since it'll prob. be the only time i ever attend a rap concert)

i did see something quite interesting during the queens set... there's apparently some ritual to moshing now-a-days... when queens started, josh (singer of QOTSA) seemed to part the sea of people like moses, but rather than creating a calm pathway for his followers, he summoned serveal charybdis, churning all with shirtless sweaty men... they opened up all around us... but as i watched, i noticed something odd... the moshing eventually "evolved" (if you can call it that) into some ritualistic/sumo-esque technique... someone had brought a straw mat (maybe 2 x 4 feet) and laid it out in the middle of the pit... the pit stops, and then two bare skinned men, shook hands, and continued to "sumo/mosh", running into each other until one tired out... in between matches, the roughed up mat, was fixed and flattened, awaiting for it's next match... i was quite confused by all this... as it continued for about 3-4 other matches... eventually, the entropy started back up again, once "little sister" started up... and i was left confused...

in any case, i did discover that i like jack white's and benson's new outfit the raconteurs... i'll definiately be picking up that cd soon... 30 seconds to mars was also pretty impressive, except it took me awhile to get over seeing jordan catalano (sp?) playing rock... leto did rawk pretty hard, but he kept doing this amateurish looking guitar spin when he played... it looked awkward to me, but maybe that's because i kept seeing jordan...

there's lots more.. but you can read janelle's blog about it, and look at her pictures, as she's the less lazy one between us...

oh, i did see this person... who i swear looks exactly like my friend ryan, with facial hair... fortunately, he posed for me as i took this picture.. i wanted to paint him...

if i lay here.. if i just lay here...

we'll do it all.. everything... on our own...
we don't need.. anything.... or anyone.....

life is full of these choices.... so cliche, but yet so true... why is it, that it always seems there are choices that force you to hold a double edged sword? which ever one you pick, you're cut.... but i suppose that's living?

life always seems to present itself with these choices... and in the end, the path chosen is the path that cuts you the least, or heals the quickest..... I've always been weak at choosing... at saying no.. or saying this is what i want... no's always seem to turn to maybes, (which we all know is bullshit for being a nice way of saying no), but i can never seem to just say no....

this is where the split of choices always seems to cut me.... i've never asked to be put in this position... maybe i'm just weak... constants just aren't so constant anymore... i feel that saying 'no' is letting someone down (which in most cases, it could be the truth, at least from my point of view... or it's just some self-centered bullshit)... i hate being put in this position... this isn't all i can do.. and no need to sort it all out... why does it seem like at anytime there is an important decision to be made, there is always a fork in the road and both paths lead nowhere?

the cuts i choose to take are those that i feel like that would heal the quickest.. the ones who would understand, the ones who would be willing to listen and forgive... or at least those who i think would be easiest to repair... it seems too much that i have to choose to fall on my own sword, because that is the only choice... or what both choices lead me to...

at the same time it seems foolish that i have to explain myself... but like a movie, the plans need to be explained, coherent, and agreed to... so to those who have been disappointed, or left out, or neglected, i apologize... i took the least superficial slice and figured that it would be easiest to ask forgiveness from you than the other... it may sound absurd.... but it's sincere... i'm choosing to fall on the shortest sword available... or the one that isn't as sharp as the other, because it doesn't need to be...

believe me... if i could split myself in two, or three, or four, I would... i'm sure everyone or anyone would do the same.... so if i seem to cut you, believe me.. i'm cutting myself twice as deep... i chose your blade because i know that your cut would heal the quickest... when there's no good answer.. or no new questions.. it's just another personal disaster... with one hand high... i'll show you my progress.... and maybe no one cares... but myself... in anycase. i hate it....

i fall on my own sword and if i push you onto my sword.. forgive me... i know you'll heal.. and that you'll heal me...