the roadie that pissed all over a teenie...

the friday before christmas, i was talking to the great hazen man on aim and he had mentioned how we should have seen the shins at lolla as well as how he really dug kill hannah's set that he saw... we mentioned that we should try to catch the shins and kill hannah (kh) next time they are in town, an lo' and behold, kh was in town the next day... so hazen, j, and i on a whim decided, what the hay... however to our dismay, tickets were sold out per-se...

hazen and i turned to our never earned google-esque marketing degrees and quickly scoured the next best place to find any odd item you want asap (including the heavily laced sausage-fest male erotic encounters).... craigslist... and we quickly threw up some "wanted" ads for some tickets and let the magic begin...

woke up the next day with an offer for 4 tickets... we figured we would be able to scalp one somewhat easily at the show, but hazen put his mad craigslist skills to work and started contacting people looking for 1 more ticket... he was able to find a buyer and we were able to recoup a nice chunk of bank... come the day of the show, janelle ends up getting sick enough to not make the show...

we try to throw up a last ditch effort on craiglist to no avail, so we assume to poses of the shady corner standees asking everything and everyone if they need tickets... we figured we would be able to easily get rid of it since we were only asking for face... it took about a half an hour until we were able to stop our pedestrian stalking...

there were two hidden djs who spun for about 1.5 hours then the opening band the pink spiders took the stage... they were a little less than exciting, but after a quick opener set, kh took the stage... the only problem with kh is that they seem to draw the teeny bopper/angst-driven kids, which don't get me wrong, has its advantages... being 6+ feet tall allows you to tower over everyone in front of you, however you do always seem to find the 1 person who is taller than you right in front of you... but after some teeny moshing/jumping/pushing we were able to make our way up front...

party favors in the form of candy canes, snowflakes, wands, candy, and who knows what else were thrown into the crowd... but now to the bullshit... at the end of the show, hazen and i were up front scouring the stage seeing if we could get anything... for being 2 of the tallest people in the front, we blow balls at grabbing flying items out of the air... in any case, there is a setlist within arms reach on the other side of the barricade with a soon-to-be-douche photo guy standing right next to it.... ignoring the cries from the many chick teenies for him to get the list (i still don't know what the fuck he was doing.. other than standing there with his back to everyone and facing the stage... no he wasn't taking pictures either..)..

after several pleas, a chick leans over the bar and grabs the setlist from the stage.... the uncircumsized-cock-faced-dick-head-photo-fuck turns around in his i've-waited-all-my-life-for-this-moment-power-trip and proceeds to rip the setlist out of the chick's hands and starts yelling at her... apparently, this piece of paper meant more to him than it did to a 16 year old chick (no idea how old he was, but at least 25)... i figured, maybe that's what he was standing and drooling over.. he probably was jerkin his own inert cock in his pocket thinking about how he would get the setlist... what a fucking-period-face... keep in mind, this is a couple days before christmas...

he and the chick exchanged some words before he kept the setlist and hopped up on stage... he stood up on the stage and turned around and faced the chick and slowly folded up the setlist and stuck it in his back pocket and left... he was probably shooting blanks at this point due to the multiple dickless-man-taffy-shots from his earlier powertrip, but whatever..

in the end, a nicer roadie had thrown out a setlist that i was able to grab... having little desire for it (although i would have kept it if this incident didn't happen... it'd go along well with the many other setlists/drumsticks/picks from other concerts) i found the chick and gave it to her... if the photo guy would have been around, i would have given it to her in front of his period-face...

hazen was able to score a used towel by the band to which he quickly threw at someone else, who in turn threw again to someone else... i bet he coulda gotten some bank from eBay with that... teenies spend their money on everything (past nirvana bootleg/t-shirt/stickers buying fads prove this for me)... however, we left with what we came with (other than a couple of beers in us) and tried to hit up byron's hot dogs (da bomb-ass dick of hot dog places in chi-town since the place looks sooo dirty.. which translates to "good") which was closed...

it was a good night, other than seeing dickwad-blow-burger try to be the mighty cock johnson that he wishes he were... i hope he ends up blowing his hot batch all over that setlist and has his mom find it...